Learning to Draw a Line in the Sand.

Happy TribeLife Friends! 

Today, let’s talk about one of my most favorite topics: BOUNDARIES! 

I love them… seriously! It’s sounds kind of lame, I know, but I can’t overstate the important role boundaries have played in my relationships.  

About 6 years ago I started to feel the rumblings of new beginnings and this time was different it was more than fantasy. It was real. I knew in my gut things were going to change. These were the tremors before my earth quaked. 

Having no idea, no details, and nothing tangible—just a feeling—I clung tightly to my soul for comfort and had to trust my spirit for direction. When the ground I once stood on started to rattle I had no other option but to search out THE Truth. I could no longer survive on the truth I had been fed but needed to hunt it for myself. So began my journey with boundaries. 

I was so aware of how this natural disaster in my life could affect those around me and I knew I had to do all I could to limit the number of casualties. I wasn’t blind to the fact that there would be pain and loss, I just wanted to minimize the damage. Enter boundaries. 

If you will allow me the privilege, I want to share what and how boundaries helped me navigate my earthquake. 

The What?

What are boundaries? They are property lines. They determine what belongs to you and what belongs to others, i.e. your neighbor, co-worker, mate, etc.  Boundaries define ownership, which determines who’s in control and who is responsible. 

Powerful people set boundaries and YOU ARE A POWERFUL PERSON. (Thank you Danny Silk)

The How?

How do you set boundaries today? It starts on the inside! 

In order to set healthy boundaries you must determine what you value. I will share more on this next week but for now, grab a piece of paper and write down 3 - 5 things that you value. Then in a few days, revisit your list of values and answer me this--why do you value each of those things? 

I can think of no better way to finish this post than with this: 

Boundaries are a gift!

They may not always appear that way but trust me, they are. They will, without a doubt, keep your relational world on its axis. They will help keep your relationships healthy. 

Boundaries make space for depth, they provide a cushion for when we fall, and they help us grow in grace. Sometimes boundaries are the hardest gift to give and can be just as difficult to receive, but your life and world will thank you for being powerful enough to draw the lines. 

Keep in mind: Boundaries won’t keep you from getting hurt, nor will isolation--contrary to popular belief. This notion that being in a real, vulnerable, and healthy relationship is too big of a risk is a fallacy. We’ll discuss this more next week. 

But, in the meantime, let’s discuss your values in the comments below. 

Thanks for being amazing!

~ Carrie 

Carrie AlfordComment